Farewell, Eldorado!

Today, sadly, we said good-bye to Eldo, the best dog ever! After 11 happy years as an integral part of our family, Eldorado Butterscotch succumbed to cancer. We miss him already. Check out a brief slide show of his earliest and last days:

The Best Man

Sad days for our family! Karl's brother Eric died unexpectedly at age 71 on Feb. 12, 2008. Just a few weeks later, on March 6, Karl's sister-in-law Marie Berndt Kurtz, 79, died. Both of these events occasioned nice family gatherings to celebrate Eric and Marie's lives.

But, no offense to the company that gathered, it was a pleasure we could have done without: We would rather have Eric and Marie still in our lives. We especially feel for Dick and David in the loss of their spouses.

The Boston Globe's Legacy.com Web site has some marvelous stories about Eric submitted by friends. Dick is planning to publish a book with all of the family and friends' remembrances and some photos of Eric, but in the meantime here is Karl's remembrance of Eric that he delivered at the memorial service.

The Best Man: A Remembrance of Eric W. Kurtz

February 20, 2009

My brother Eric was the best man in at least six weddings that I know of, and probably more that I don't know about. Two of them were my own. This is amazing: How many of us are asked to be best man at even one wedding?

This remarkable fact about Eric leads me to my theme for the day: What were qualities that made us want him as our best man?

First, he had a great capacity for friendship. He had many and varied friends. Just look around this sanctuary, filled to standing room only, at the diversity of people who are here. Many of these friendships were deep and long-lasting. One of his earliest and best friends in high school, Jim Ellis, wanted to be here today but could not because of illness. But there are people here who knew him in college more than 50 years ago. And there are lots of people here who have only gotten to know him in the last year through the Harvard Institute for Lifelong Learning. Among other things, all of these friendships meant that he had a lot of best man opportunities.

Second, he was clever and witty. In fact he loved the word "clever"—he used it a lot and admired clever people and things. This quality meant that he wrote great wedding toasts, perhaps the single most important qualification for a best man, save for not losing the ring.

As an aside, the single most agile, apt, alliterative toast that I have ever heard was not written by Eric but rather delivered in his honor at his own wedding to Janet by a cousin of Janet's. It ended with "...a toast to the cleverness of a Kurtz to connive to k-now a Knoop."

Third, he was a bit of a Renaissance man. There wasn't any pursuit of the mind that he couldn't do well. In many ways the word "curiosity" sums him up—he was intellectually curious about everything. He was a man of taste and discernment. But he applied his agile mind, curiosity and good taste only to the things that mattered to him. For the most part, his interests did not extend to the popular in American life. He loved to share his enthusiasms with other people. He had an enormous appetite for life: for love, for music, for travel. (A friend who recently traveled with him said to me just before this service, "He traveled with gusto.") Not to mention his appetite for food—both the cooking and the eating of it. He could be a bon vivant, capable of lighting up a party.

Despite his capacity for extroversion, the life of his internal mind was very important to him. I remember one time riding in the back seat of a car with Eric and our father. There was lively conversation in the car, but Eric was off in a world of his own. After a time, Dad asked, "Eric, what are you thinking about?" "I'm meditating on Burke's The Sublime and the Beautiful," he replied.

Fourth, despite his skills and talents, Eric was a man of personal modesty. One of his flaws may have been that he was too often sure that he was right, but he was neither vain nor vainglorious. Dapper and dashing were not words that ever applied to him. He cared nothing for fashion. What does this quality have to do with being a best man? Well, for one thing his modesty and, if I may say it, his frumpiness meant that he never outshone the bride and groom.

Fifth, Eric had a large capacity for family, probably more so than anyone else in my sometimes dysfunctional family. In my conflicts with my parents or my brothers, he was the one who always counseled me to hang in and to forgive. He was often the spokesperson for my brothers and me in both big things and small. In the difficult transitions in my life he was accepting and non-judgmental. I particularly remember how welcoming he was to my then not-yet wife Janet when she came into our family at a difficult time (one that is too reminiscent of this one). Janet treasures the memory of how helpful Eric was to her he was when she arrived in Cambridge for her year of graduate school at Harvard.

Sixth, he was a nurturing person. Eric was 10 years older than I, and when I was born he took an intense interest in me. He took care of me while my mother took care of the rest of the family. My memories of this are not conscious ones because he had gone to college by the time I was six and starting to remember things. But his care-giving to me established a deep and lifelong bond between us. We were brothers, but he was also a third parent to me. Eric's children also benefited from his nurturing qualities, as I'm sure did so many of his friends who are gathered here today.

From this summary of the things I admired about Eric, I think you can get a flavor as to why so many of us asked him to be the best man in our weddings. But taking all of these qualities together, it seems to me that Eric was, quite simply, a "best man" in the broader sense of the word, without reference to anything having to do with weddings.

I miss him deeply and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

Oberlin's Apollo Theatre

Anyone who has ever visited Oberlin will be interested in "Alumni and Friends Fund Purchase of Historic Apollo Theatre."

"Kurtz" on Amazon.com

Following is an exchange of e-mails that I had with my brothers about a year ago about Kurtz books on Amazon.com, which I am now belatedly realizing might be of interest to the rest of the family:

In an idle moment (when I was avoiding paying bills), I searched Amazon books on "Kurtz", wondering, in an ego kind of way, how far down my own books would appear on that list. I was disappointed that I had to go to p. 7 of some 20,000 listings to find a listing for me. (For the record, my two books rate 218,176 and 573,659 on amazon.com's bestseller list!) But on p. 4 of the search, I was astonished to find "Church History" by "Professor Kurtz" published in 1899. Remember those volumes that sat on Dad's bookshelves? The amazon.com listing doesn't say anything about the books, but I guessed that this listing had to be out of our family history (our great grandfather?). So then I googled "kurtz church history" and found a digitized version of the book. Is that Dad's handwriting in the emendation, dated 1929, of the "Professor Kurtz" name to read Johann Heinrich Kurtz? Except for the "J", it looks like it could be his scrawl, but how and why I have no idea!

I remember glancing at Kurtz Church History occasionally but finding the books impenetrable. Do any of you know anything about those books? Does one of you have them?

If you enter "john w kurtz" in amazon.com, it's interesting that in addition to all of his other books (except for his translation of Refuge), his dissertation appears, listed as out of print.

Here was Rob's response to that message:

Interesting stuff. I don't think that's Dad's handwriting though. Neither the J nor the capital H seems right - the rest, maybe. The capital letters look more like those of our Grandfather Kurtz. I have a copy of an autobiographical piece on which he wrote some notes -- I can't put my hands on it right now to compare closely, but if my memory is reliable, these look like his.

I think Mother told me that she gave most of Dad's library to the college library and that they had put a lot of it up for sale in one of their annual purges. But David or Eric might have some things as well. Then only books I have from it are copies of the JFO book, one each in English and German, and one copy of Refuge that Mother gave me at her 95 birthday party.

I had a similar experience about twenty years ago when I was browsing the card catalog at Claremont's Honnold Library and found Dad's Drei Novellen - I searched the dusty stacks and found an autographed copy, a gift, apparently, to someone whose name I didn't recognize at the time and can't remember now. Somehow it had found its way into the Honnold collection -- maybe it's still there.

My faithful customer who was Dad's student when you were born (she complained still that class was not canceled!) died recently. She never came into my store without mentioning Dad -- even when I was not in the store she would remind my employees of that connection!

Emmy as Golde in Fiddler, Part II

We were proud to report previously about Emily's casting as Golde in Fiddler on the Roof in a Boulder High School production. We're even prouder to tell about her outstanding performance, now that the BHS cast's seven performances are completed. Maureen, the director of the show (in photo with Golde/Emmy and Tevya/Noah Kloor), captured Emmy in this role when she wrote in a note: "You put a lot into crafting the character of Golde. She/you are perfect: gentle, nurturing, tough, and funny. And I love your voice."

This was a perfect capstone to Emmy's high school career (yes, it's still four months to graduation). She had a terrific time doing the show ("It was a blast!" she says). She's been with the same group of theater kids for four years. They are a tight-nit and supportive group. This was Emily's turn to be a star among them. One of her classmates, Anneka Kumli (photo), who served as choreographer for the show and played multiple small roles, was Emily's best friend in pre-school.

Janet made it to all of the shows and Karl to half of them. We basked in the glow of praise from family and friends who attended the show and took vicarious pleasure in Emily's triumph. Mazeltov, Emmy!

Feb. 15 update: There weren't any official photos of the show, and we didn't take any ourselves. So all of the photos here are from post-show parties. Here's a good one, though, of Golde and Tevye, singing "Do you love me?," which showed up on Emmy's Facebook page, courtesy of the show's technical director (and Emmy's good friend) Clay Harding (click to enlarge).

Our 2008 Holiday Letter

December 2008

Dear Friends and Family,

With two of our children in Boulder High School this year—the only school year that that will be true—we decided to build our Christmas photo around the BHS Panthers. Between classes, choir, theater and basketball, it often seems as if our family's life revolves around the 38 blocks along Arapahoe Avenue from our house to Boulder High. It's a year of transition for both Emily, who is enjoying her senior year and planning for next by completing her college applications, and Andrew, who completed confirmation in our church and has successfully made the leap from middle school to high school. We'll share some of these and other transitions and news with you in our annual attempt to connect with both distant and near friends and family.

Since the ultimate transitions are death and life, we begin by honoring the 100+ years of Janet's beloved godmother Halcyon Dowson's life. Aunt Halcyon died peacefully in July. She lived a rich and fulfilling life, full of kindness, generosity and compassion for others. She played a major and endearing role in Janet's life, and all of us miss her.

On the other side of the family ledger, our fifth grandchild, Abigail Malia Knox, was born to Sarah and Sean in Hawaii in March. The birth of another child to join sister Elena (4) was a dream come true after a long quest and many hurdles for Sarah and Sean. We will see Abby for the first time just after Christmas when they all come to Winter Park to ski with some of Sean's family. In another transition, soon after our visit to Sarah and Sean's home in Kailua last Christmas, they completed the renovation of their home and moved into a spacious new master bedroom suite.

The triumph of Emily's senior year has been her casting in a lead role as Golde in Fiddler on the Roof, but you'll have to wait for next year's letter to hear about her performance since the show doesn't open until February 2009. Music continues to infuse Emmy's life as she sings in two choirs, plays in the church hand bell choir and pursues voice and piano lessons. Last spring she sang a beautiful "Hallelujah" solo by Leonard Cohen at services in First Congregational Church, accompanying herself on the piano. Other church and music related activities in the last year include a BHS choir performance at Disneyland (with Janet along as parent/chaperone), a powerful experience at a church youth work camp helping to rebuild Katrina-damaged homes in Mississippi, serving as a junior counselor at a music church camp at La Foret and for Peanut Butter Players (talk about transitions—those are both places where she began as a novice performer in elementary school) and teaching dance at Cotillion.

While not necessarily planning to major in music, Emily's college-seeking journey has focused on small liberal arts colleges that offer strong music programs and a rich campus musical life. In the last 18 months we have visited 12 college campuses with her, and she has submitted applications to seven of them, ranging from Oregon to Vermont and North Carolina, with places in between. She says she doesn't have a favorite among them, and will wait until the college's decisions in March and April to make her own decision.

Andrew's life revolves around basketball, not just playing but living. For example, for his "aperture" (culminating) project that all Horizons 8^th graders were required to complete last spring, he took on the task of raising funds for the resurfacing of the school's deteriorated basketball court. He successfully raised $8,000 (!) for the project and, together with his teachers, managed the bidding, contracting and implementation of the project. This was a fine conclusion to our family's 11 years of attending and participating in Horizons K-8 Alternative School.

Andrew's graduation from 8^th grade was not his only step toward adulthood this year, as he also completed confirmation and became a member of First Congregational Church. His transition to freshman year at Boulder High—a very different place from Horizons—has gone well. He has stepped up his level of responsibility and is performing well. His transition began with a developmental basketball team for Boulder High during the spring and summer that played 45 highly competitive games against teams all over Colorado and Wyoming. He was a leader of that team and is now enjoying the benefits of that experience by serving as co-captain of the school's freshman basketball team. He continues to play recreational ice hockey, serve as a dance instructor for Cotillion, and enjoy his summer camp experiences at La Foret. He is socially active, to say the least.

Our son Eric, his wife Jeanette, and children Micaela, Talia and Jasper continue to grow and flourish in Denver. Eric is now a senior member of the staff of the Colorado Legislature's Joint Budget Committee. Jeanette, on the other hand, "retired" from working for the Legislature and is enjoying devoting full-time to her children and her fascination with photography. Micaela and Talia are 4^th and 2^nd graders at a school two blocks from their home. Little Jasper looks a lot like Andrew and, as a toddler, shows a touch of his personality.

Janet is happy that the YWCA for a second year exceeded $1 million in operating funds in 2008 in the face of deteriorating economic conditions (next year may be a different matter). She was pleased that the Harvard Kennedy School magazine reported on her 2007 statewide award from the Colorado Women's Foundation, recognizing that she had applied what she had learned at the Kennedy School to the nonprofit world. Karl's 36-year odyssey at the National Conference of State Legislatures continues. One of the highlights of his year was a week-long consulting and training project for the Nigerian National Assembly in Abuja.

There's nothing like being parents of two high school teenagers to dominate your life. Janet and Karl sometimes feel that the only thing that sustains our sense of humor is the newspaper cartoon, Zits. Read Zits, you know our life.

Most of our family travel during the last year has been related to Emmy's college search. The campus visits have been fun and have taken Janet and Karl back to their own college days. It's all we can do to restrain ourselves from letting our own reactions to college visits govern Emmy's. Indeed, we probably don't altogether succeed in letting her make her own decision. It's especially difficult that two of her prospective colleges are our own alma maters, University of Denver and Oberlin College.

The big exception to campus-focused travel was the World Congress on Civic Education in Morocco in May. This is an annual event for Karl in various parts of the world, and Janet fulfilled a long-time dream of visiting Morocco by coming along. The conference itself took place at a university (come to think of it, that makes 13 campuses visited this year) in Ifrane in the mountains under the patronage of His Royal Highness, the King of Morocco. It was rainy, cold and isolated on this campus, but the conference was a success. Beforehand, we enjoyed visiting Casablanca (including dinner at Rick's Café—recreated but nonetheless fun), Rabat (the capital) and, most fascinating of all, the ancient town of Fez and its meandering, wide-ranging, bewildering, sensory-challenging, old world marketplace. The best time of all during this trip, though, was an evening at the home of a Moroccan family whom one of our fellow World Congress attendees had befriended through their son, a waiter at a restaurant in Denver. As always with international travel, the personal connections are the best.

Eric, Andrew and Karl had a great men's outing right after Andrew's 8^th grade graduation on a four-day rafting trip on the Colorado River through Cataract Canyon in Canyonlands National Park (Utah). It was a fascinating and often amazing experience: three days of motoring through calm waters with stunning scenery and one rip-roaring day of class 5 rapids with 15-foot high waves that turned our stomachs as we rose and fell from them. The river is completely remote. In four days on the water, traveling 73 miles, we never saw a bridge—and only two other boats—until the very end of the trip.

We also want to brag about our 10-year old golden retriever, Eldorado. At his annual checkup, the veterinarian declared him to be a "beautiful specimen of the breed." We agree. As a licensed "Canine Good Citizen," he visits elder and child care institutions as a companion dog. Janet often takes him to work with her, where he serves as the YWCA's "deputy dog."

This has also been a year of remarkable political transitions. So many people have high expectations for a new era in American presidential politics, and we join in wishing that those hopes are fulfilled. However, Karl has worked with some state legislatures undergoing transitions since the election and seen how difficult it sometimes is to transform government and politics.

We will spend Christmas in Redstone, Colorado this year. As Janet's stepmother Wilma (still going strong at age 97) said the other day, Janet has been visiting this town in the beautiful Crystal River valley for more than 40 years and, as so many of you know, it is the Rocky Mountain sanctuary where we were married (transition may be good, but continuity is also rewarding). We will raise a glass to all of you, our family and friends, during the holiday season, and hope that you are all happy and well.